Written by Robin Collinge
It’s the weekend. Your head is a little fuzzy from last night's antics and your stomach is craving carbs – ‘cause let’s face it, you were passed out long before those noodles you drunkenly decided to whip up at 5am were actually ready. So, it’s time to clean up - or hope last night’s makeup is still sufficiently in place - reach out to your friendship Whatsapp group, and get brunch on the agenda. Oh, and how do you make sure it’s worth getting out of bed for? Make it boozy.
If, like me, you enjoy your brunch served with a side of unkempt beards and a familiar native English accent then head no further than Cut Throat for your weekend brunch fix. Yes, Cut Throat the Barber Shop, you heard right. But even if you’re not into unabashedly appreciating the male form - their eggs are damn good. Settle into the achingly cool interior, complete with a fully functioning arcade game. Choose from the vast selection of international craft beers and classic cocktails or spike one of their decadent shakes with your poison of choice. In the name of research I took on salted caramel and cookie with a serious hit of rum and it did not disappoint! Plus, don’t sweat it if you’ve slept in, brunch Kiwi style means it’s served until 4pm. Beursplein 5
Gs Really Nice Place
Everything about this hotspot is quintessentially and unapologetically brunch, from their drank-cakes (fluffy pancakes lathered in Kraken spiced rum) to their recommended post-brunch activities, which include napping and drunk shopping. Offering a carb-free ibiza salad alongside a faberyayo bourbon peanut butter milkshake, this brunch hotspot certainly has something for everyone. Try and resist the chicken waffle burger; a hangover cure hugged between two sugar waffles, this dish has certainly earned its impressive collection of Instagram tags. Gs currently has three locations: in the Jordaan, in De Pijp, and, in true Amsterdam spirit, on a boat (pictured above).
It’s becoming somewhat of a trend to see expats in Amsterdam seeking out the little things they miss from home – trust me, I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect fish ‘n’ chips joint for the last five years. This is exactly how Little Collins’ story began. Opened by two Aussies who were missing the brunch traditions from their native city of Melbourne, this brunch haunt oozes a friendly and laid-back atmosphere with a menu that's out of this world. Don’t be afraid of sounding like a cliche and ordering the avocado on toast. Slathered in roasted beets, goats cheese, and topped with a poached egg, there’s nothing basic about this dish. Expect a decent waiting time on the weekends, but once your name is on the list it’s easy to kill some time wandering the eclectic Albert Cuyp Market. If beer is your brunch accompaniment of choice then go for Little Creatures, an imported Australian pale ale, otherwise the ample cocktail list has got your back. Eerste Sweelinkstraat 19F
Staring at Jacob
Tucked away on a quiet canal corner in Amsterdam Oud-West, an excited buzz ripples through this charming hotspot. The melting pot of diners and attentive wait staff is reminiscent of a hip New York diner - which is pretty fitting seeing as this boozy brunch joint prides itself on American-inspired comfort food. With dishes like miso horny and fuckin’ everything, these guys aren’t afraid to get creative. What’s more, when that inevitable sweet or savoury dilemma hits, there’s no need to fret - they’ve perfected chicken and waffles to a tee. Ease yourself in with a mimosa or Jacob’s bellini, or if your hangover has done some serious damage then take on the dirty dirty. A Bloody Mary spiked with pickle juice and a crisp rasher of bacon. You’ll be ready to take on the world in no time. Jacob van Lennepkade 215
Bakers & Roasters
As an expat in Amsterdam, I have a confession. Sometimes I like to escape the Dutch language – beautiful as it is, it exhausts my little brain – and head somewhere where I know I can drift off into a tiny English bubble. For me these places are Coco’s Outback, the bacon section of Marks & Spencers, and, you guessed it, Bakers & Roasters. Owned by one part Kiwi and one part Brazilian, this marvellous brunch spot has become synonymous with its queues around the block, particularly on a weekend. And offering goods such as dreamy banana nut bread french toast and game changing navajo eggs, it’s for a bloody good reason. With a spot secured on this list, Bakers & Roasters’ extensive cocktail list is a given. But when a New Zealand style cafe describes itself as ‘served with a heavy dose of Brazil’, we recommend you don’t overlook the coffee menu! Eerste Jacob van Campenstraat 54 / Kadijksplein 16